You are doing the right thing, focusing on yourself, changing your ways - there is nothing in the world that can get an alcoholic to stop drinking. that is exactly what happened to my husband, he drank himself to death, it took a decade of hell on this earth, don't waste your time and your life on someone that has a death wish, move on, you don't have to meet him do you? I hope you don't slip up, remember your own sobriety and how precious it is..I'm a recovering alcoholic and my RAH was sober for 10 years and relapsed and never got sober on his own again...there was jail, institutions and finally the grave. you have to stick to your plan and get help for you. you can change you - you cannot change that person. I'm really praying for you to make it thru. peace m