My head is spinning….
One of the biggest issues with anything like this, you never know what the motives are, you don’t know what he tells his father without you around, don’t know what his daddy is really thinking and what his motive are, how healthy they are when he does what he does…
To me if you truly want your bf to get well then both you and the father need to step back big time, get out of his way.
I also agree about the pain and the personal loss, like what anvil wrote. You don’t need to know his feelings, you don’t need to know anything. He isn’t keeping a secret, you know it happened, from there you don’t need to know any more and you aren’t entitled to. You can’t share the pain it is not yours.
Years ago, at a funeral no less, my fil’s brother whispered to me, you know you turned him around. I looked him dead in the face and said I did no such thing, I got out of his way and turned myself around….whatever he did that you see in him, he did on his own.
I don’t take credit with my son either … all I did was get out of the way with him as well, him falling flat on his face is what should’ve happen and as fast as it did. It is what would happen if any parents let go from the get go and stopped doing for, thinking for, planning for, and let them live it their way as they should, they can not learn any other way, not good things anyways that will give them the best chance at a wonderful life.
I don’t know who is playing the game but you all seen, all in.
I wonder has anyone stopped and asked your boyfriend what he wants, truly what he wants to do and can do for himself.