TigerLilli,
If he were in true recovery for 7 years (meeting attendance and sobriety are only a part of this equation) then he should have some understanding of the importance of you creating your own boundaries for your recovery.
I qualify "some understanding" because the alcoholic voice and presence has now infected his reasoning abilities and as I do not know him personally or his alcoholic history and what he truly understood at his "best and highest self".
Whatever you do or say it will be distorted by the alcoholic reasoning and selfishness so don't waste mentai energy and space in your brain thinking you can somehow say it just the right way to have a breakthrough or soften the blow.
Just tell the truth... unvarnished and hopefully without breaking down in tears... there is great power in the truth and so often we DON"T because we are so concerned about the blacklash of manipulation, anger and punishment for facing the alcoholic with the truth.
I began to completely focus on what I needed and did not address the A's behaviors and choices except to continually give him the space to make his own decisions about his future.
The best way I found was to simply announce that my boundaries were 100% not negotiable ALCOHOL FREE... period. That I would not tolerate another nanosecond of alcohol use, abuse, nonsense, quacking, bs, insanity, excuses, lies etc, etc, etc... ad nauseum.
Then I acted on it... every time the same exact way. Whatever it took to insure that my life was alcohol free.
It worked... the A decided to get away from me... I no longer was the wet noodle chasing him around with a fire extinquisher, a dust pan, a box of huggies and a crying towel.
I don't take his calls but I do listen to his vms just to reinforce my resolve... they are quacking classics.
Hope that helps ... take care of you ... hope you are attending some alanon meetings and making sure you have a good support network!