Hey Niki,
I know that you know that pills would not be good for your baby, so I'm not going to lecture you about it. I'm sorry you can't sleep tonight. I think it would be hard for anyone to sleep under those circumstances. SR is usually a peaceful place to hang out - I'm here many nights I can't sleep, like tonight... I like reading about how people can get themselves into the worst situations, totally hopeless and miserable, and then change everything to get better. People do things they never thought they were capable of - good things! I personally know it's very easy to do horrible things you never thought you were capable of while you're under the influence - I guess I just think it's cool that we can surprise ourselves and our loved ones in good ways too.