Originally Posted by
stairs 
Do you think alcoholics have huge egos?
An unreasonable amount of pridefulness?
My sponsor invited me to breakfast, it's her treat.
Right away I'm like, "Oh no you don't have to do that". Like god forbid I accept breakfast from my sponsor. Oh.my.god.
So I realize I am doing this while we're still on the phone. It's a leftover from "I don't need your help"/"I can handle it" with some of "I don't deserve to be treated, look how much money I blew on alcohol" thrown into the mix.
I caught myself. I was being an idiot. I said, Wait a minute. and explained to her what was going through my twisted brain.
A combination of pride and mental self flagellation.
Anybody else have this weird kind of thinking?
When I am sober, I honestly say that I have the ego on it. And when I am drunk, It feels like my ego is freely controlling me. Alcohol let's my egos destroy me - not thinking ways to stop it. That is why I hated drinking already and stopped.