Hello violet:
I think you will find that NA would be a big help to you. Lots of folks at the meetings who know what you are going through and they've done it. Go to NA and tell them how you feel.
I thought I needed a psychiatrist when I first came to AA... turns out the doctors, lawyers and priests were already in AA and I found them at the table.
No need to try to do this alone.....
Wishing you the best.
Bob R