Of course it hurts..
just remember its a mourning STAGE you won't feel like this forever...
Its "funny" how they do those things..
In no other breakup did the ex rub the new person to my face.
I feel its part of the denial as in "SEE? YOU are the problem! I am FINE!" something childish and protection to the addiction so it can keep going. Its not about human beings here just addiction perpetrating itself.
From
Addiction, Lies and Relationships
The addict's delusions that he is harming neither himself nor others by his addictive behaviors; that he is in control of his addiction rather than vice versa; that his addiction is necessary or even useful and good for him; that the circumstances of his life justify his addiction; that people who indicate concern about him are enemies and not friends, and all other such beliefs which are patently and transparently false to everyone but himself, are seldom correctable by reason or objective data and thus indicate the presence of genuinely psychotic thinking which, if it is more subtle than the often grotesque delusions of the schizophrenic, is by virtue of its very subtlety often far more insidious and dangerous to the addict and those with whom he comes into contact. For in the case of the delusional schizophrenic most people are quickly aware that they are dealing with someone not in their right mind - but in the case of the equally or at times even more insane addict, thinking that is in fact delusional may be and commonly is misattributed to potentially remediable voluntary choices and moral decisions, resulting in still more confusion and muddying of the already turbulent waters around the addict and his addiction.
In many cases the addict responds to negative feedback from others about his addiction by following the maxim of "Attack the attacker." Those who confront or complain about the addict's irrational and unhealthy behaviors are criticized, analyzed and dismissed by the addict as untrustworthy or biased observers and false messengers. Their own vulnerabilities may be ruthlessly exposed and exploited by the addict in his desperate defense of his addiction. In many cases, depending upon their own psychological makeup and the nature of their relationship to the addict, they themselves may begin to manifest significant psychological symptoms. Emotional and social withdrawal, secrecy, fear and shame can cause the mental health of those closely involved with addicts to deteriorate. Almost always there is fear, anger, confusion and depression resulting from repeated damaging exposures to the addict's unhealthy and irrational behaviors and their corresponding and supporting private reality.
From
Dependency - Relationship We must awaken to the fact that those that have a dependency problem are verysick selfish individuals. They do not have to look far for someone to feed off of, in a parasitic way, as there are too many individuals who are subconscious, willing victims who come to them and then become martyrs to the cause, and now nurture the disease in the person who they have given their power to. It all stems from a selfish act.
I am glad I am no longer a "willing victim"... it takes time but day by day the fog clears ...
