Old 03-31-2012, 10:33 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
EnglishGarden
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
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How old are the children in her care?

It is essential you understand that her disease of addiction means that she is--quite literally--out of control of her drinking or drugging.

This means that she cannot keep any promises to you about not drinking when she is alone with the children, nor any promises that she will not drive under the influence with the children in the car. It is VITAL you understand that you cannot trust her to remain sober at any time, anywhere, in the presence of anybody. She is going to drink no matter what.

With that fact of addiction, any clear proof you have that she is an active addict puts the responsibility on you to protect your children from the risks of a drunk parent.

If you are willing to tolerate an active alcoholic raising your children and putting them at risk, then your choice can be to allow her to remain in the home and drink, openly or secretly.

If you are unwilling to accept that scenario, then you can set a firm boundary--"I will not allow my children to be exposed to the risks of an active addict in their home"-- and follow it up with action. But never make threats you do not intend to carry out. You will have to be absolutely in your gut committed to your course of action, willing to carry it out no matter what your AW does or says.

Legal advice would be a good idea. And Al-Anon for support.

Your situation is serious and you have no choice but to deal with it. So many husbands think they can "manage" the AW, but they absolutely cannot.

Welcome to SR. I hope this is the start of your recovery. Many here will offer you excellent feedback and support.
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