I am still kind of new to this, but it sounds like your wife is still having a big problem. It's great that she went to meetings, is she in therapy or getting additional help? While I may be new to this, I have to say that ignoring it does not help, it won't make it go away, but driving yourself nuts isn't doing you any good either. I would get some help for yourself, and try to figure out what you want and what is best for you and the kids. If she really wants to stop she needs help and needs to commit to it. I found out my boyfriend was using pills 2 years ago and although he stopped he never got professional help and never really took responsibility for his actions. Now he is drinking and still won't get help. I have found that talking to someone with a drug/alcohol problem when they are not ready to give it up is like talking to a brick wall. My therapist says that when a person is ready to get help you know it...they are desperate and willing to do anything to stop. You could help her find some places to get help and support her while detaching so as not to drive yourself completely bonkers, but you can't make her do it and you can't do it for her.