Well.................................... the alcoholic 'blaming you' is the 'alcoholic DENIAL'. It seems that both your ABF I hope to soon be XABF and his parents are liing in the 'Alcoholic reality' which is dramticly far removed from reality.
And yes, if hasn't got a clue yet, then 'rehab' won't do much for him.
Keep posting please, and keep going to Al anon. We are open 24/7 and we do care, very much, how you are doing.
Love and hugs,