In AA I've heard countless people's stories over time, and they are as varied as the individuals who tell them. As you might imagine some include great darkness.
One of the worst I've heard is a woman who had the responsibility for the care of small children. She needed to drink, but the kids needed care. She'd drink and fear something would happen to them while she was unable to deal with it. She'd fear that people would find out and take them away from her, the important thing in her life would be gone from her drinking, but she had to drink and she had to take care of them...
Nothing much ever happened, but how she lived for those years before doing AA...gives me the chills right now.
AA, through it's members, close study of it's literature, and your experience with the steps can inform you regarding your alcoholism, which is not about events, adventures, amounts, bank balances, length of rap sheet. Being informed is nice, but what's of real use is it offers a solution for our shared problem that works well for the relatively few who expend some small efforts to utilize it.
If you go, you'll see people new, some sober only 20 years, and people with double that time sober and more. Each went to their first meeting unsure if they were the real thing.
It may take months of doing AA to get that, though you have suspicions it's so now. Gaining that understanding is important and worthwhile. And available to you.
Should you seek clarity regarding your alcoholism and not find it there's nothing lost but a few hours a week that would have been given to being sick otherwise.