Welcome to SR --
Alcoholic or not, you are definitely abusing alcohol. The most important question would be are you using alcohol in an unhealthy way and irresponsibly. I think based off of what you've shared that it sounds like you are. I would encourage you not to get hung up on the label, it's far more important for you to cease the harm you are causing to your body, mind, emotions and spiritual state because of your alcohol abuse. If you need help doing that then I would look into adopting some form of recovery program to give you a framework for quitting alcohol.
I think you also sound a little depressed, so I would look into some counseling and/or psychiatric care. Don't be like me and lose years of your life giving up and giving in to your depression and abusive behaviors. Act now while you still have the chance to save yourself a world of heartache.
Best wishes,