Laurie; One thing I have learned is that addicts/alcoholics seem to zoom in on each other, even if they don't know initially about the others addiction. Of course we feel like we have known each other all our lives, and feel a "soulmate" connection. There is good reason for this. We think alike and do things in similar manners. I also met a younger man in recovery, we spent a total of 8 weeks together. As soon as I started realizing he was singling me out, I started to pull away. That was hard because I wanted to support him and all of us wanted to support each other. Another thing I noticed about recovery programs is that we were like trauma victims going through the same thing. The enemy was the councilors. We were all so "thick and together" It seemed nothing could penetrate our strength in numbers. Of course we inevitably went our separate ways when it was through, and I only keep in touch with one other woman now, the only one who didn't relapse.
Ask yourself if you really have feelings for this guy, or if he is just a good drinking buddy? Sure would think twice about this before you destroy an entire family. If you are not happy in your marriage, work on just being happy with you. The grass that you think is greener, truly isn't. Don't look for outside sources to make you feel good about yourself. Do it for yourself.