Muffin - I know first hand the devastation of an F5 tornado. I survived by divine intervention. God literally turned me around on the freeway or I would have driven directly into the storm. 5 minutes saved my life on May 22, 2011. I was 52. I lost my home, but I was alive.
Drinking filled my nights. I drank every night and cried most every day. The devastation was unbearable. In December I turned 53. I drank. January 14, 2012 I got sober.
75 days today. I am no longer living in alcohell. I have hope. I am a survivor, just as you are. You have accomplished so very much. Every day of sobriety is a testament to your strength, courage, and compassion. Your beloved animals cannot take care of themselves. They depend on you and your love for them. Contact HSUS or the ASPCA; local humane organizations - they will offer help. Take the money you spend on alcohol and apply it to their needs. If your property is still under cover from the damage of that storm, see if you can find companies who would come and clear it for the wood. There are options. Do not listen to that doom and gloom voice in your head that is trying to sway you back into drinking. It is not worth it, and beleive me, it will not change a thing, but will compound the negatives immeasurably. Perhaps meeting up with others and sharing your grief will help lessen the burden. I wish you peace and serenity. It will not be found in the bottom of any alcohol container. God bless.