Muffin, I am so sorry for all the horrors
You know being drunk isn't going to help. Your animals depend on you, you need to be sober. If you have nothing, there normally are ways to get the food you need for your animals for free from humane agencies. It takes effort and calls but I know you can do that today. You need to be sober to do it.
You are not your mother. I know you are very depressed and all this must seem insurmountable, but one tiny step at a time you can change your future. Really, a new ending to your story can begin right now.
I know you have a huge heart. Please don't give up. Giving up right before things can start to get better? I don't think so. We are all here for you and there is help. My thoughts are with you.