OMG love, be so thankfull that he did not take you down as a REAL HOSTAGE...you got away easy...reading all the horror stories, i am one of the lucky ones that my A/NA did not take me down with him...thank god...my HP has a plan for me...
grieve him/grieve the fantasy....leave him to his Higher Power...
now its time for you with your Higher Power...let go and let god, take it one day at a time!
((hugs))