For me, I have really deep-rooted abandonment issues for a plethora of reasons.
One memory I can vaguely recall is from when I was about two years old (maybe?) and I had a really crappy babysitter who drove me to the mall with her friend and made me stay in the car while they went into the mall. I think I actually got out of the car and got lost in the mall, and that's how I feel when my abandonment issues get triggered, or "recalled". Like a lost child trying to find a grown up.
Besides that vague memory, my dad and other male role models who I adored as a child really let me down and abandoned me either physically or emotionally, so it's a real "trigger" for me. In other words, it brings me back to that state of mind where the feelings originated from.
It's common with most ACAs to have abandonment issues, and to feel as though, at all costs, a relationship MUST NOT END. Even if it's a relationship that is toxic or unhealthy. It's as though, for many of us, the thought of being alone is by far worse than the thought of being with someone who treats us how we're used to being treated--abandoned, let down, disappointed, disrespected, etc.
I'm sorry I can't describe it better right now, but that's part of the equation for me, anyway.
