((((Taylor))))
I can relate to that putting on the bubbly face. In my case, I abhor the thought of being like my mother who complained endlessly. I still struggle with the question of how much is it okay to let people know when I'm hurting, struggling, and stressed? When do I cross the line into being an endless downer and whiner and pulling down everyone around me? I see value in being cheerful so as not to drag others down. But there has to be a balance in letting others help us along sometimes.
I would strongly suggest looking into al-anon meetings. I found a lot of help there and am thinking of going back.