Welcome. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are young and have a lot to learn about ACA. You probably know a lot but there is always more. I have a daughter in college and I am still learning how to cope better all the time. We can't get rid of the triggers and memories but we can learn how to control the anger and the response. But it will not always be perfect.
Just the fact that you are reading here will be a big help. Read over the stickies, I tell everyone that, but they are pretty good and will help you decide what direction to start.
I was scared of my alcoholic Dad too, he beat me till I was 18 and left home. He drank till he was 80 so we never really had a good relationship though I did forgive him, for me.
It's your turn to learn who you are and become the person you are meant to be. You can do it. We are here if you need us.