Originally Posted by
zoso77 
So, I understand you wanting to "understand", and I personally believe it can be helpful to know what it is you're dealing with. But you have to appreciate that just because you know what you need to know doesn't mean you can help or change the addict. My suggestion is, if possible, keep all that you now know in the back of your mind and now focus on you.
You'll have to unwind why you stayed with him, and that's not an easy task because that may mean admitting things about yourself you don't want to admit.
As my clinician would say, "Here's another f**king opportunity for growth."
Best of luck.
ZoSo
Thanks Zoso,
U are right. It's a fxxking big lesson as I had told him too.
As u mentioned about admitting thing about myself, i remember there was one night, he got home after drinking with his addict friends, he dragged me out from bed. He said 'everybody has issue, tell me what your issue is! U know about my addiction but i never know what issue u have. I have a feeling that u are hiding sth from me!' Then, he accused me that I'd probably secretly had other Bf, and even suspected that I joined some underground S&M scene just because he saw a bruise on my thigh! He wished to prove that I have issue!
And later in Jan, I met him up again after all crap fight through the phone in 5 mths after break up. He said 'u are twisted. Otherwise u wouldn't be here with me now'
I have to admit that I'm self distructive sometimes.... And probably some other problems too , but i dont kniw what it is. I'm looking for a good therapist to cure myself. I can't let myself fall down again.