December,
If rule number one if accepted; we cant know whats not ours. *
In my case, meeting my BF was a happy accident. As I stated, with no history or background in drugs, or drug use... I didn't take his number of days into consideration. I just evaluated the man before me as he presented himself. *I don't regret that.*
I would suggest to any of my friends that they do the same. However I would also now suggest they make an effort to learn about addiction; something I did not do at that time; and they use this to also form their decisions.
I dont have to defend the truth that I know...I had a really happy, satisfying relationship with my BF for the first 8 months. If I hadn't been happy; why would I have continued with him; makes no sense.
I could have allowed his relapse to make me feel insecure. But the truth is; his actions that night had nothing to do with me; the drugs, the girl, the breaking of many laws.... they were all a carbon copy of the way he used to live. *He relapsed into his old pattern of behavior. *
I forgave him. *He made a commitment to step up his game and work harder on his recovery, we've also worked really hard on our relationship, and as I stated earlier...I fell into severe Codie ways....and I've worked hard to find my way back out. *My life apart from my BF is still a-ok too. *I'm happy again. So no I don't think I've disrespected myself, or lowered my standards.*
I can't predict what his outcome will be; I personally think he is doing really well and I'm proud of him.*
My friends who loved him, then hated him, now love him again. *Of course it helped when he took my one and only male friend with him to that Superbowl football game. *My friends can be bought I discovered. *Made me laugh.*
My dad is very fond of my BF; we spent the weekend at my dads recently and they sat around and talked, BF helped my dad out with some work that needed to be done, while I cleaned and cooked. *We had a great time together. My dad trusts my judgement; his advise is the same as always; take it slow. My dad is very wise.*
Also December, I'm not criticizing the 12 steps; I said I won't discuss my BF alternative treatment philosophy because it leads to too much disagreement. *It's unnecessary and not beneficial to anyone.*