Consider this: when you marry an alcoholic, recovering or not, you put yourself at risk for exactly these types of issues. There's risk even with non-alcoholics if your judgement is bad enough.
If you had been going to Alanon this whole time you may well have never found yourself in this position, and if you did find yourself here you'd know how to handle it.
Now will you go to Alanon? It's not too late to start and my two cents is you need it.
Cyranoak
P.s. Racy texts are not part of recovery or amends, and there is no scenario where they are appropriate. Why are you believing what he is telling you when your common sense is telling you different?
P.p.s. It's not odd you are married to another alcoholic. It was as predictable as the tides. Alanon might have changed that.