Actually, I was wondering what happened to you after the relapse.
Sorry things don't seem to be going your way, but if you drink, then you will make things that much worse. As you know, you have no control over any of the things that have taken place, which is probably frustrating to say the least. All you have control over is whether you pick up that drink or not.
So I hope you do whatever you have to do, not to pick up that drink.