Instead of starting a new post, I went back to reading my very first post....Today I am 30 days clean off of pills!!! I am super proud of myself, as the last time I didn't make it..This time has been very different. I feel better each day, and I just know that going back out isn't an option. Today I was at the gym and did 30 straight minutes of cardio, to me that is a huge accomplishment. Before I never did anything active besides pop a pill and want to lay around, watch movies and feel my high...Well NO MORE. I can play with my daughter in the morning bright and early, and not have to wait until the pills kicked in to have a fun time! Now I get up on my own without an alarm, feel wonderful, and am proud of myself at the end of the day.
For those of you are just starting this journey, please know that things get better....and being sober (even though I only have 30 days) is 100% better then being slaves to pills!!! I have tried so many times before to quit, ordered the Thomas recipe online, took time off work to lay in bed, went through withdrawals countless times, and every time I went back. Seems as soon as I started feeling better, the little addict voice inside would say, "that wasn't that bad, you can use them again and control yourself this time. Not take 20 in one day like before, just 2 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon, and 2 at night!" Ha ha yeah right!!!!! Before long I was taking 3 in the morning, 3 by 10, 3 by noon and it would continue. Then I would be angry with myself because they were gone, all to celebrate by taking a lot as soon as I picked up again! UGH, so glad that life is over!!!
So.....30 days...feeling great...Reading back to this last post in November makes me sad, happy, proud, and so not wanting to go back.