Wow, this has been an awesome thread. I have used something similar to AVRT on my own twice in the past. Once to quit dipping snuff and the second after being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes to remove refined sugar from my diet. Both of those were based on me accepting that I never wanted to use those substances again and making the decision to commit to that. Being a secular Buddhist I used mindfulness as a way to monitor my thoughts, recognize the monkey mind (the beast) whining for snuff or sugar and to ignore it. Both took lots of conscious effort in the beginning but now I hardly ever give a thought to either.
What brought me to these forums is that I am separated from wife and in the process of divorcing her. The last 15 years have been an insanity of detoxes, rehabs, meetings and relapses as she continued her downward spiral and me willing following her try to save her or at least protect her. When I reached the point that I began to think that death was going to be my only escape I finally woke up from the nightmare. SR and Al-Anon have both been huge helps. I needed help in the beginning to relearn simple things like it is ok to have boundaries and to take care of yourself and that I had choices. While I am no longer participating actively in Al-Anon they were a necessary first step for me. In addition many people who attend al-anon end up quitting the program after their relationship has fallen apart. The need to attend forever just doesn’t sell as well there as it does in AA. In spite of the fact that there are a number of “old timers” who think otherwise and try to impose their views on the meetings.
I have to be honest and say that I got some very useful tools from that program that dovetailed nicely with my Buddhism on living in the moment, giving up the illusion of control and accepting both myself and reality for what they are. I am now at a point where I am content just being me and I no longer look for another person to complete me. In some ways the Al-Anon tools were easier to access and put to use than the Buddhist tools as they were more folksy and down to earth and not written in a style that was of often cryptic and outdated.
So I guess I am saying there are some good parts to the 12 step programs but not for quitting an addictive drug . I am using the program now not because I am an alcoholic but because I don’t like the direction my drinking is heading. I have found since leaving my wife I have started drinking more than I would like and more often than I would like. No binge drinking or blackout drinking but still enough to make me uncomfortable. And having regained my sanity and serenity from the horror that was my marriage I have no desire to lose it again to my drinking. So I went to the AVRT web site, read the bullets and made my big plan. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. By doing so I never have to be uncomfortable with my drinking again or worry about how much is too much. It’s now so very easy because I don’t drink and never will again.
I must say thank you to TU because until I came here and he posted in the friends and family section that I had never ever heard of AVRT. I will continue to post here and share my experiences because I want other people to know that this is a tool that works.
Your friend,