Originally Posted by
sissy07 
What should I do to help myself? I don't have a recovery program except this forum. Maybe I should break down and give AA another try.
Sounds logical to me. That's the sort of despiration most of us in AA hit at one point or another. Lots of ppl came in that way. I was more like you though, didn't really take AA serious until I realized that "not drinking" was the reason I drank... I wanted something more to life....and I found it and more when i started working the program seriously.
I found ALL the sorts of things you mentioned started clearing up...and some of it happened darn quickly...when i started getting serious about the program. I'm sure you'll find the same to be true for you as well.