Thanks for sharing. Although I also won't have that life anymore, I do too have those feelings at times usually when under stress or when certain drugs are glamourized in say a TV show.
For myself, I recognize what my triggers are and try to find ways around them. If I'm stressed, walk or meditate, if I see drugs glamourized write a list in my head as to all the stuff that went wrong when I did those things etc. It sounds as if you are good at recognizing the harm it did too. That's always a good sign, keep up the good work!