Pentuate,
Stop worrying about what is right and just try to find what works for you. I've read this thread and your posts and see alot of myself in them when I first started trying to quit. I too have anxiety and social issues that made AA difficult, but, I tried it for a couple of months and found out it wasn't for me. I didn't like the dogma and I think the meetings hurt me at first, not because the program doesn't work, it just wasnt the right fit and I was told over and over it was the only way.
For myself and other AVRT users, the letting go of powerlessness and re-establishing ourselves as the dominant power in our relationship with booze is very therapeutic and freeing. I hated the "never" of AVRT too when I first started. It made me wildly uncomfortable to think that I had to give up my life long companion booze. If you weren't addicted the "never" wouldn't bother you. My first month using AVRT I had to battle, battle, battle to detach that AV voice from my own. Once you learn how to do it though it becomes really easy. It's giving in to the fact that booze can no longer have a place in your life that you are struggling with.
As for the urges a month out, and TU can probably answer this better than me, I have learned from my previous failures what my AV's tactics are. When I get a fleeting urge now it's like old hat, I just say, "sup AV" and let it go. I don't talk or discuss with it.
I hope you find what works best for you because life without booze is WAYYYY better.