Thanks again for all the support and comments.
I was once in a very dark place in my life and I thought that I got through it on my own but when I look back there were many friends and family that had stood by me no matter what. I was very fortunate in my situation and have been on a straight line for a few years now. I saw the sign a few weeks ago that I could go back to that place and I'm determined not to so I thank you for your continued words as they are really helping.