Thank you all for posting a reply.
I do blame myself because I did spoil my children which was not a good thing at all!!! I am a work in progress though. I am stronger now then I was before naranon and I will not be manipulated even by my children. What they can do for themselves they will do. If they are old enough to get a part-time job and work for spending money, they will. I will not live in active addiction period. I am rediscovering myself and who I am. I lost myself living with an active addict. I am peaceful and serene. My focus is my happiness and that of my children. My responsibility is to provide for them a safe, consistent, happy home. That is where we are and if it doesn't meet my daughter's let me have all my friends over to get ready to go out mentality then too bad. What is up with that anyway? I don't remember being a teenager and having everyone of my girlfriends over to get dressed and makeup on before we went out. I mean you should see her room afterwards like a war zone. I went to her dorm on Sunday when I dropped her off from being home for a week for spring break...OMG! it looked like a bomb went off. Literally food left on the dorm room floor for a WEEK!!! When she has the lacoocarachas crawling on her she won't appreciate that much now will she. Maybe then her and her sorority girlfriends will learn mommy isn't there to clean up after your messes!