Oh Marlene, you have every right to be angry and to vent! When my stepdaughter was 19 and went off to college her first year, oh boy. She felt like she didn't have to work, or do anything but party with her friends, and expected us to pay for her car, her insurance, plus pay for everything else. She went through a couple of years there where it was all about "me me me me me". Her dad had bought her a nice, safe, good on gas car. It was perfect for college, perfect for a first car. Oh and it was paid for, no car payments. Long story short, she found fault with all sorts of things about it. Main fault? Didn't have automatic windows!!! By then her sister was getting close to 16 and would be wanting a car, and no way could we (nor would we) buy her another car just for automatic windows. So she pitched a crying fit, wanting to trade it, and we told her that if you trade it, you'd better be prepared to make the payments. So she found a car dealership, traded it, and guess what? She thought daddy really would make the payments. When daddy didn't, she called her grandma who was living on a very measley social security pension, and told her grandma to get on the phone and just say "ok". She had given the bank her grandma's checking acct number to make her car payments from!!! (And this is the SHORT version). We found that out when grandma had a check bounce after never having one bounce for 40 years. 19 year old still wouldn't get a job, and this was back in early 2000's, when jobs were plentiful. So bottom line, we allowed her car to be repossessed, and she had to learn to live without a car. She hated us for a while, probably hated me more, the evil step mother as I'm sure she needed someone other than herself to blame, but that was ok.
I said all that to say this: Sounds like it's time for boundaries with your 19 year old adult child. Wake up call, reality check, 'Dorthy this isn't Kansas anymore'. You don't have to baby her or give into her emotional whims. It's time for her to be a big girl now. She won't like it one little bit, but she'll get over it.
Hugs and prayers for you!