Hi and welcome. I to along with Jennifer am going through the same thing. My 6 year relationship ended 2months ago with not an abusive or mean man but a man that threw me away like trash once I told him I couldn’t stand up for him for my family and friends because he started drinking again. (he was sober almost a year) I was so afraid of the kids we might have had, would he forget them somewhere, would he do somethings stupid to my dog, would I always walk on eggshells hoping not to hurt his feelings.
I told him he couldn’t drink at all, he told me he didn’t have a problem and then dumped me for a new girlfriend who he told me he loves and is planning on marring and raising her 4 children. (talk about a knife to the heart) It is true when people say it is like you have to mourn a death more then the break up. You are not losing your ex, your losing the ex you fell in love with. They are 2 different people….I am still crying everyday and I pray it will stop too. These forms are really starting to help me see the big picture and it isn’t my fault. Although the COdE in me, I still blame myself and wonder how he could just throw me away.
Someone on here told me that addicts don’t have relationships, they have hostages and addicts don’t love, they use people, as soon as I said I couldn’t allow the drinking and stand up to my family, he found a new women that would then texted me how much he loves her, her body, her children, her love that I never gave, blamed me for not being there and told me to never call him again….sigh. I am going to attend al-non for the first time tonight in 6 years even though the relationship died, to help me move on. Therepy this weekend to help me heal from my abandonment issues (I still want him even through all this) and I PRAY EVERY SINGLE DAY for god to get me through it…
