Stay sober first. Next, trash all the bottles of alcohol at your house. Even wine bottle or anything else that would remind you of it. Then, take the bible, and PRAY.
Take time to realize what you have done in your past life - and you will be grateful to see possible solutions to fix things up. You just have to believe in HIM. Start reading "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. A good book that shows your purpose of living here on Earth. It might help. There is still a chance that you could recover. Everybody is given a chance. Most of us just don't grab it.
So you better grab it. When you have further problems you may PM or contact any members in this forum to help you out more.
Regards,
Dave