Came here for some support.
Hello, I have been lurking on this site for a while and finally decided to put the energy out and write my first post. This post may be kind of long and sound like a whine, so I apologize in advance. I'm 25 years old and still living at home with nothing to show for it but the dead end job I dutifully ride my bike to. What made me write this post is that I'm increasingly coming to the point that I think that I cannot go on, or I don't want to go on. I was at work today and a co worker told me that I was a young guy who needed to wake up and make some plans for the future-well not long after that I felt like I was going to loose it. I find myself being pulled in two directions between ending this wreck of a life for good or holding out some hope that maybe I can pull myself out of this hole. I have ****ed up so much with the drinking(find myself wanting to start again) and the drugs(I don't even think my brain works)that I feel like it is better to throw in the towel now and put myself out of my misery. So now that the crying is done for now, I don't think I can make the decisions and choices I need to. A doctor had me on Celexa which I stopped(made me feel weird)and told me to go to some govt. health center called CHI because she felt I needed more help than she could offer. This may sound stupid from an adult but I am terrified of going in for treatment(I stopped drinkink on my own so I didn't have to go to meetings)because I don't know where it will end, being exposed,and most of all the cost-I can't even get up the courage to call numbers to get myself a car when it is in site. I got to figure this out on my own but I was hoping you all could give me some encouragement, because I need it. Sorry about the long whine.