He isn't in recovery, he's in active addiction. He's already in a downward spiral and no one, including him, knows where it will stop. His brain is hijacked right now and he's going to use until he doesn't. If you want to support his recovery, you're going to have to wait until he's done using.
Please know that every moment you spend with him, he's an active addict until he isn't.
Please continue to find support for you, you're going to need it. If you chose to stay with him, you're going to find out where his downward spiral crashes. You'll be along for the ride, and your odds for survival are better if you're wearing a seat belt.
As far as his mom goes, would you want your parents to know if they were in danger? Would you want someone to tell you? I'm grateful someone told me about my daughter.
The biggest mistake I made with my daughter, was the one I made with myself, first.