I'm an old granny (well,not quite) and Al-Anon wasn't my thing either. Just like different approaches work for different alcoholics, the same holds true for family and friends.
This is like a death and you need to grieve. Time will work wonders but a few sessions with a good therapist would help you be able to focus. I find that meditation and journaling help keep my mind straight too. Don't bottle things up but try not to wallow either.
Hang in there, and hang out here. It is comforting and inspiring to see what people have overcome.