Originally Posted by
elle88 
I keep dreaming of the day that this will all be over. I keep dreaming of the day when he can come back home and we can go back to how it was before heroin. I feel like my family is broken and I have to find a way to fix it. And it's really painful when I realize I can't. My little boy had a wonderful dad. And I keep hoping that man will come back to him, and come back to me, just as he was before.
I used my hopeful fantasies of what was or might be to rationalize my attempts to fix my daughter. It was initially easier than accepting I had no control over her or anyone else for that matter.
Addiction demands the addict protect ( lie and manipulate) and sustain it at all costs. It's not personal. He is not using at you or your son. I know it feels that way, right now.