BUT I started to read this book called "Creative Visualization" about how to envision and then realize your goals... kinda New Age-y, but hey, whatever works, right?
The future is scary and exciting at the same time. I have no idea what I am doing with myself and sometimes I wonder if the years with my husband (and all the strange and horrifying things I had to witness) have changed me. I hope not.
I remember that book! And it was quite fun to read and visualize a new way of looking at myself and my life. Another one you might like is "It's Only too Late if you Don't start now." Sort of helping to get up and do something positive.
I personally believe the only thing my ex changed about me was I became more cautious and scared of people. Put up more walls, moats and the razor wire. Since I have been in recovery, I have knocked down some of the "fortress around my heart" and become more open.
I guess I am saying he did not change you, you might have changed yourself in reaction to abnormal circumstances, but once you get out, you will let out the real you. Not changed, just hiding for safety.
Beth