OK... I'm still stupid, because I responded to his e-mail.
XAH,
Since DS wanted to egg hunt with his cousins and Grandma, I wanted him to come home Saturday night. Over the past few months, I have cancelled or re-arranged my plans when you were unable to exercise your visitation option. However, it sounds like even though you told DS it would be OK, you have changed your mind. When you see him for dinner this weekend, please let him know that you would prefer to keep your Easter weekend visit as-is.
Thank you,
TU
I'm expecting to get ripped a new one; but then, I'd expect it if I didn't respond also. Nothing I do is right, so I figured I might as well stated clearly want I wanted based on what DS told me he wanted.
I'm feeling super jittery, and am trying really hard to breath slow and deep. It's been four years since DS and I left him. I'm so mad at myself for being affected by him this much still.