hey " stuckinFL" Reading your post has made me believe there is always somebody, somewhere , feeling or going thru some what the same things as i am. i as well am new to this website via the same reason as you... googling perc with drawls. i have am 21 years old with a 3 year old daughter. i have been doing percs for about 4 years come this summer. ( 2008) As yourself, it was a social thing. But i started a little more drastically then you. Never was into doing " pain killers " or anything to numb the body and mind. i was always more of a smoking week type of person. Then came a day a "friend" (so i thought) came to me when i was 17 and they were 20 at the time. came to be with a 30 mg perc. i did not kno what it was... but i did a quater and was told to drink alcohol with it. It was all fun till and passed out ( clearly from over dose ) woke up an hour later thinking it was all fun. It began to be more common doing so, getting 30's , doing half and lightly drinking with it ( cus i am not a drinker at all , not my thing ). And as like you explained, gave you energy sort of speak, made everything fun. As the years went by, it began to be a habit. Not that i couldnt stop like you explained, but just wanted to do it out of bordem and having the money and just wanting to have fun because just smoking weed was no longer fun. but smoking weed and doing percs was . As of now, today, and as of recently in the past months, i have realized what percs have done to me, it has not just put a tole on my body and have problems with my pancreas and not being able to stop, and loosing my family all because all i wanted to do... was go out with my " friends " and get high. As of recently in the past months like i have said, its an escape. Espcape from reality, escape from fear , escape from being sad, escape from hate. Just the numb of the brain and to cloud everything that really means alot, or should mean alot. Because of drugs, i barely talk to my parents... i live with my grandparents and they are so beyond worried about me. My daugher and her mother are now moving to North Dakota tomorrow with her new husband . I have lost my family, and my daughter. My only pride and joy left in my life.. and i have failed.
i have not just failed her , but i failed as a father, as a figure for her to look up to. i failed as a son, a grandson. All of the above.. in my eyes. today, i am not who i am supposed to be. Drugs will change your life, alter your decisions, and bring you down to rock bottom. You might not really understand the pain that i have to feel, knowing everyday.. that i lost my family, my one and only daughter and her mother that cared about me so much and tried time and time again.. to get me to open my eyes and realize what im doing... all because of drugs, and " friends " .
Let me say im on day 1 of not doing a thing... i have done a quater of a soboxen to help with with drawels. doing so only that much just because i know you can get just as addicted to suboxen like any other medication. i do not take anything for depression or anxiety as of fear i will be addicted . i have made up my mind, if can not do this on my own or with help of others to be behind me on this.. then i will self admit myself to a detox facility ( in-patient ) and stay for as long as possible . I will go from one to another if i have too . Everybody has to try to turn their life around at some point, and right now, i dont want to live the life style i am living . i want to turn it around for the best and stop beating myself up for the past and make a future for myself.
Don't let it get to the point where you've hit rock bottom or lost something you've loved to realize.. your hurting yourself and everybody around you. I really hope this helped... atleast a little.