It is hard DG, I know. I started, stopped, started, stopped, over and over again. It finally got to the point where I said enough is enough. Drinking is no longer an option NO MATTER WHAT. From this starting point, I had to change my thoughts, my actions. Not always easy, but I want to stay sober more than anything, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to do that.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes? You need to ask yourelf that. If the answer is yes, then throw your entire being into recovery.
God bless.