Originally Posted by
ctg492 
We did "Not Send" son to this place, he asked to go, so knowing that "perhaps" he is more into it then the people that were "put"there. Most them end up leaving. My son lives month to month there and asked at the end of each month if he could stay. This will probably be the last month. After that he is signed up he said, going back 4 days a week to voulenteer as an alumni and support for newbies. He will keep his DR and Therapit and NA meetings there.
It does appear that your son is putting effort into his recovery.
My son was ordered to rehab by the court so he didn't go on his own or ask us to help him get in to a rehab. My husband and I did pay for the 28 days in rehab--but after this one time of footing the bill, he is on his own (that is, if we stick to the boundary of no more money towards rehab). We'll see how that goes.
My husband and I have done plenty other enabling actions that we are in the process of eliminating. He's out of our home now and that is a big step towards both his and our independence. When he moved out I asked him what his plans were if it didn't work out between him and his girlfriend and he didn't like my comment (sees me as a doomsayer). I told him I wanted him to consider his options because our home is NOT Plan B. Time will tell if we'll be tested in the future. I'm hopeful that he will get his act together and start rebuilding his life--but realistic that it will take much work on his part to do so and up until the time he left he had shown little evidence of working on his sobriety.