Originally Posted by
NoTears 
hey hey Pigtails - what a wonderful place to be 4 months without the monster!
I'm about where you're at too time-wise. My guess is you're looking for that respite from the day and the stress and from your own thoughts? as opposed to, say the taste of the stuff?
I'm just going to echo what everyone else has said, stand your ground girl. I don't think of it anymore and it has freed up my mental energy to deal with things unbelievably. It's just miraculous.
Here's some good thoughts for you and hopes that you get here soon.
Hugs - NT
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what exactly it is that I'm looking for. It's not like I crave a certain taste or kind of alcohol (or, that's not very common anyway). For sure I know that it's hardest when I'm around other people who are drinking. I think I'll start a separate thread about that because I've been really wondering how to handle it. Perhaps if I were more active in AA/ a recovery program, it would be easier. But basically when I'm at home alone or around other people who don't drink I honestly don't even thinking about drinking or want to drink, but when I am around people who are drinking I really want to just be "normal" and give in and drink. It feels like a constant struggle, so yeah it's more about wanting a break from the struggle than actually wanting to drink.
I do hope the miracle of not wanting to drink/not being consumed by it happens to me too. It was happening when I was more active in recovery. I hate that I have to focus on it so much but I guess that's how it is.
Thanks.