Welcome,
I think it's always very scary when we stand on the brink of recovery. I was used to failing as I had done that for a long time. It actually felt comfortable. I knew what to expect. But, succeeding - that was a scary thought. Where would it take me? I had no idea. But, I was a mess emotionally, physically and spiritually so I had to take that leap of faith. And, I can tell you that the recovery journey is exciting, not always perfect, but worth the effort.
You can stop drinking and you can choose to not start again. We are here to offer support.