I also feel exhausted when I am working on healing emotional/psychological stuff, especially if there is any type of major awareness taking place. It really is exhausting--physically, mentally, emotionally--but worth it, of course.
I'm really sorry that you're experiencing the negative side of AA personalities right now. I also went to NA meetings for about a decade, and I would occasionally run into some seriously negative behavior...as you mentioned, cliques, predatory behavior and/or manipulative behavior, etc.
What I noticed was that it really depended on the meetings I was going to. I'm fortunate in the sense that I live in a city where there are probably at least 5-10 AA or NA meetings to choose from every night, and that's not counting the meetings that are in the suburbs.
Is it possible for you to find meetings with maybe a different group of people? You may have already tried that, of course, so I hope I'm not pointing out the obvious.
I personally stopped going to NA a few years ago, focused on some spiritual work, and then recently began working on my ACA issues--but I'm not the one to say whether cutting out meetings works very well for everyone. Maybe just trying to go a little further out of your way to get to meetings with a healthier group of people, if possible...or, as you said, giving it your best to accept people, places, and things.
I hope things get better, and thank you for sharing.
