Thanks to all who read and to those who replied. I'm starting to see some glimmers of hope. I had a wonderfully nourishing appointment with a counselor today who is well-versed in addiction, codependency and 12 steps. She kept putting me back on the right track and stressing what I need to do today and the next few days -- we'll do more work next week.
It's amazing how many pieces of our stories are so alike. Thanks again.