I have heard before that healing is exhausting. But 10 years of exhaustion? Not able to take naps because I'm so angry? This got a little better on some days for a while when i was closest to God around Step 5 in AA but it got worse again.
Reading my own top-post above, I almost saw in there that maybe the ultimate answer is still going to be in what I was taught in AA - acceptance. And asking God for strength to overcome my fear and be myself. Maybe I just won't stop fighting people places and things.
Thank you for your post.