tnw- you replied on my post too and i wrote to you a little there...
it is extremely hard emotionally to love someone who is activelly using. it breaks your heart and wears you down. i knew that my husband on drugs was a different 'person' than the real person he is without them. i knew he was in trouble and needed help. i always thought if it were me i would not want everyone to throw me away, i would want someone to love me enough to stick by me no matter what. i did that for him for many years.
the very best thing i think i did was to join Alanon ...i went to face to face meetings and to an online email group ( email group is called 5thtrad at ***** groups) and then i read Everything i could find on addiction and friends and family's of addicts. the 'sticky's' at the top of this forum are full of great articles.
it is not easy, but it's real for all of us here. addiction. little word...big life stories. hang in there and try to make sure you have support for you too. and if you need to say more, keep writing here! many wonderful people who care. hugs.