Raven4136

Hi there,

I'm Raven. My back-story can be found in the intro section but in a nut-shell I am an opiate addict. I was using rx pills up until last week that were originally given to me for pain management. Unfortunately I am an addict and began to abuse them and my habit spiraled out of control. At the end I was using 25-30 15mg oxy's (snorting and orally) on top of 60mg of extended release morphine 3 times a day...with some dilauded in between. All given to me by a doctor. Not an excuse at all but it does make me shake my head a little now that I'm on the other side.

Anyhow, I came clean last weekend to my husband and to my family that I needed help. I was already scheduled to undergo a suboxone induction per my request to replace the pain pills and try to slowly wean off of that instead. My doctor felt as if that would be the best plan when I approached him about quitting pills. At that point nobody knew I had a problem with them..that I was misusing them..just that I had been taking them for pain and wanted off. But I needed help and I wanted my family to support me in that so I came clean which was very embarassing and difficult.

We moved forward with a detox plan - I ran out of oxy early last week and my doctor would not give me anymore to get through to the original scheduled "detox" day (which is understandable after I told her what I had been doing.) So it's been 6 days without oxy and 4 without the morphine.

The detox was pretty miserable but I made it through. I wanted to do it at home so I could still use my xanax (I have never abused my benzo's...use them very sparingly...don't like them) and my ambien to sleep. I didn't like the idea of detoxing in a place that would make me do this cold turkey. I have bi-polar and my psychiatrist was also concerned that doing this could send me down the rabbit hole. So I made it through and Friday morning finally came.

The suboxone is interesting to say the least. It is supposed to be doubling as a pain medication for me (I have genuine chronic pain), but doesn't do crap for my pain. I understand that my brain may associate pain relief with a high, but I am honestly in excrutiating pain most of the time. I still have cravings too. Is it just too soon? Is that just because I need to deal with the mental part? I thought the suboxone is supposed to help with that. So far, I'm unimpressed. I still have withdrawals...I'm still on the toilet all the time. I still sweat like a pig. I am lethargic. I feel flat - no emotions at all. Can't smile. I just assume not take anything at all at this point? Is it just too soon?

I realize that I cannot receive medical advice here. I will call my doctor Tuesday when she is back in. I am more looking for people with similar experiences etc

(I am on 2-4mg 2-3 times a day)

Thanks,

Raven