Bamboo, .... sweetie.... PLEASE go to the nearest emergency room and tell them you are feeling this way. You will get the support, medical attention and rest that you need so badly.
If you can't bring yourself to do that, please at least call the national hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
You CAN get through this pain and you WILL live to see better and brighter days. You WILL be happy again. Please -- for your children's sake -- reach out now.
((((Hugs))))